Reformatted: A fresh start (part 1 of 2)

How are you? My teammates asked me last Tuesday.

"Reformatted" I answered.

They laughed and cheered.

I was serious though.

Indeed, this year have been a year of changes.

My 5-yr-plus relationship with someone I loved ended last August. I am longer studying in law school this semester. Even my computer and my phone were reformatted.

But with losing, I have gained a lot more... I gained...


A lot of blank spaces, and more storage capacity.

My cellphone's system was corrupted and had to be reformatted. I lost my schedules, my notes, my codes, my messages and my numbers.

Now, I have a lot of space in my phone memory.

I feel a little lost. I feel a little disoriented. All that I store in my phone are important. There were ideas, topics that I want to write about, list of stuff that people borrowed from me, etc that I had put in my Notes. There were schedules and birthdays that I haven't copied to my planner. There are important numbers that weren't saved in the SIM (but thank God I had a copy of family members' numbers).

But then, I guess there are things that I need to let go, like the messages that I could not erase...

Now, I can get new heartwarming and funny messages from other people, and store them in my now freed-up memory space.

Translating it to the non-gadget world, I can make new memories, and have a lot of space in my mind and heart to store them.

As it is said, you have to let go of what you are holding, in order to receive more gifts.


A lot of free time, and freedom.

I am on a "break" from my law studies. When the disappointment waned, the feeling of excitement of the things I can do with my "free" time set in. However, I have to get used to the feeling of not feeling "burdened". I had to admit that feeling "stressed" over cases and provisions gave me a sense that I am doing something important. The trouble of feeling light is that you can feel you're "floating." Lightness can be unbearable.

But I am excited to do all of the things I want to do. Travel. Write. Sing.Dance. Learn to play an instrument. Learn a new language. Swim. Run. Laugh. Breathe.

Of course, I still dream of becoming a lawyer. I would still be willing to grasp the thorns to hold the rose. But now, I need a break to get a new perspective. Now, I can see that I can do what I enjoy and be all that I can be. This break can actually bring me a step closer to my dream, since now I am no longer afraid of failing. And I can reach for the sky, without the fear of falling.

And now I can dream bigger dreams. Sky's the limit.


A lot of learning.

When my 5-year-plus serious relationship ended, I had to remind myself of who I was without this person, and tweak my life plans. It seemed that I had to start from scratch. The good thing about starting from scratch is that you can make anything you want. But then, I'm not starting from scratch. I have learned a lot from this relationship.

I learned how to love, how to let go, and how to heal.

I have experienced the feeling of real happiness, and now I know how real heartbreak feels.

I have learned to let go of bad things, and now I know how to let go of good things that are not meant for me.

I have experienced how to be loved, and now I learned to love enough to set someone free.

I have learned how to give of myself, and now I have learned how to love myself more.


A fresh start.

A few weeks ago, I was explaining to my colleague that my computer was reformatted by my "ex", so I lost my files in my Windows Media Library.

Other colleagues overheard and teased me. "Who? Who?"

I said "My ex"

And they continued teasing, "What did he do?"

Without batting an eyelash, I said "He reformatted my life"

He didn't really reformat my life.

But he gave me an opportunity to get to know myself more. The opportunity to unlearn and relearn things. And learn new ones. Build and rebuild. He gave me an opportunity to grow.

Now, I have a fresh start.

I can spread my wings some more.

Love some more.

And live some more.